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My random idiotic writings..
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Tyler Adams
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:12 pm  Reply with quote

Zenas wrote (View Post):
that school is a target of terrorism a lot aint it ?
just as funny, he always has to play the hero, and get shot. Razz
good job, again.

and no, i havent read Tom clancy's 'Petriot Games'


First time was at night, the second was a strike to kill him.. or his girlfriend, at least.

Patriot Games:

Main character fucks with an attempted assassaination of some top British officials. Terrorists come back and try to kill him & his family/friends. They almost kill his daughter and hurts his wife. They lose.

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Tyler Adams
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 6:51 pm  Reply with quote

I woke up in a hospital.

Again.

Sara was there. Again. She looked tired.

I moved my head a little, then said 'I'm going to have to start carrying a pistol with me.'

A doctor came in.

'This is the second time in, what, a week, you're in here for gunshot wounds. I'd have to agree.' He said.

'Very loyal girlfriend you got there, by the way.'

I nodded, then looked at the table beside me. A small wedge-shaped piece of metal was sitting on it, about an inch tall.

'That's the bullet? Something THAT small?'

The doctor nodded.

'Damn.. I think I'll keep that.'

'You can, when you leave here.'

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Askhati
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:54 am  Reply with quote

Dude... I would give you my honest opinion of this... 'writing'of yours, but I think the mods would view it as flaming. You REALLY need to improve your literature - start with something basic like Mills & Boons, and then try to move up to something like JK Rowling, Stephen King, and eventually perhaps Tolkien.

just a friendly word of advice.

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Rattuskid
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 9:48 am  Reply with quote

Yeah, I skimmed over it a while back, shook my head and moved on. The problem is reading takes time to intake, like a 30,000 word story takes time to read, where as an image takes just a few seconds to intake.

So where as we can glance through a thread in 'Artwork' and see all the fabulous stick drawings of people anc cal lthem for what they are, we won't even to bother to fully read a story we think isn't worth the time.

Take it from someone who knows, your first 'endevour' will undoubtedly suck. You will need to read more, to write better, learn some structuring, plot devices, audience appeal... all of that.

Look here or elsewhere for help, but don't expect to just get good at it. Writing is a skill that takes years to hone into something effective.

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Last edited by Rattuskid on Mon Feb 13, 2006 11:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Zenas
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 3:24 pm  Reply with quote

rattus, you forgot a ] with your url.

and though this is obviously not written by a proffesional writer, it do is very intresting to read IMO.
and i am no type to read stories and such, i do like this.
(kind of says a lot doesnt it ? maybe cause i am more of the short chapter type of guy...)

and his way of typing, it isnt having all lines attached to each other, wich makes it somewhat makes it take less time to read, because it doesnt use long lines of text.
it is easy to follow, and still has a good life-line, since it basicly is more just about the life's of the Tyler, and his GF.

personaly, i'd loved to see it continue the way it is currently writen thus far.
(no, i am no pro writer or anything similiar.)

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Tyler Adams
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 12:13 am  Reply with quote

Zenas wrote (View Post):
and his way of typing, it isnt having all lines attached to each other, wich makes it somewhat makes it take less time to read, because it doesnt use long lines of text.
it is easy to follow, and still has a good life-line, since it basicly is more just about the life's of the Tyler, and his GF.

personaly, i'd loved to see it continue the way it is currently writen thus far.
(no, i am no pro writer or anything similiar.)


Thanks.

Alot.

Yeah, I know my writing isn't great.. but.. meh..

It's my style, I like it..

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Askhati
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:49 am  Reply with quote

Wow, a story where someone flatters himself and keeps on reminding the reader on how good-looking his alleged girlfriend is... Sounds a bit narcissistic to me...
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Tyler Adams
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 8:29 pm  Reply with quote

Askhati wrote (View Post):
Wow, a story where someone flatters himself and keeps on reminding the reader on how good-looking his alleged girlfriend is... Sounds a bit narcissistic to me...


Hey, man. My story.

You don't like it, don't post.

Or write one yourself.

Got it?

You'll also notice I've been here a year longer than you.

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Zenas
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 10:07 pm  Reply with quote

Kyler Adams wrote (View Post):
Askhati wrote (View Post):
Wow, a story where someone flatters himself and keeps on reminding the reader on how good-looking his alleged girlfriend is... Sounds a bit narcissistic to me...


Hey, man. My story.

You don't like it, don't post.

Or write one yourself.

Got it?

You'll also notice I've been here a year longer than you.


Askhati; you may find his way of typing the story real bad, but look into his profile, and go look under personal, for how old he is.
then you will also figure out something quite intresting.
as for his age, he is doing it real great. he is making a better story then i can, and i am 18.

Kyler; no need to become so angry.

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Tyler Adams
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 10:16 pm  Reply with quote

Zenas wrote (View Post):
Kyler; no need to become so angry.


Yeah..

Thanks.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 5:37 am  Reply with quote

Wow - You've been here a year longer than Askhati has! That makes you... like, super, man! Dude! You're 1337!

*ahem* Sorry for that, had a momentary infection of the '13-year old Syndrome' virus. It passed...
Please don't challenge my writing abilites - you WILL see your ass without a mirror. Learn to relax, and learn to take advice from people that know beter - this isn't the PPM forum, so don't try to throw your tantrums here.

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Zenas
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 7:22 am  Reply with quote

Askhati wrote (View Post):
Wow - You've been here a year longer than Askhati has! That makes you... like, super, man! Dude! You're 1337!

*ahem* Sorry for that, had a momentary infection of the '13-year old Syndrome' virus. It passed...
Please don't challenge my writing abilites - you WILL see your ass without a mirror. Learn to relax, and learn to take advice from people that know beter - this isn't the PPM forum, so don't try to throw your tantrums here.


this isnt even a modding only forum.
now just accept the way he writes,
either give small advices, or dont give any.
but dont give such a advice you gave, to change its way of typing completly.

also, watch your words Askhati.

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Tyler Adams
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 9:45 pm  Reply with quote

Askhati wrote (View Post):
Please don't challenge my writing abilites - you WILL see your ass without a mirror. Learn to relax, and learn to take advice from people that know beter - this isn't the PPM forum, so don't try to throw your tantrums here.


Care to tell me just who you are at PPM?

*has sudden suspician*

daTS?

And, btw, 'tantrums'?

Link me.


Zenas:
As always, thanks.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 11:29 pm  Reply with quote

Hey guess what, it's still the internet, I guarantee it!

Topic locked until you guys stop waving your dicks around, kthnxby.

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