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Frostswarm
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thyob
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 10:54 pm    Post subject: Frostswarm Reply with quote

Frostswarm

The Mourning's early light crept across the velvet robe toward a leaf and vine carved bed that sat in the opposite side of the room. The light slowly crept up the bed, onto a similar decorated blue blanket that was laid upon a long slender body. The body stirred when the light touched his face, he slowly sat up stretching and yawning as his hair fell down revealing his two pointed ears.

He sat there for a second before pulling away the covers and going to his leaf-orientated drawer. The elf pulled out a blue shirt that had a white strip where the buttons were, then a matching pair of pants that had the same strip going down the side. Finally my ceremony is today. He thought to himself as he finished getting dressed. He opened his door that lead to a hallway that had six doors lining the sides with a staircase at the end.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs a soft female voice reached his ears saying, “Good mourning, Kárik, lets hope you do well in the ceremony today.”

“Yes, my dear mother, I hope the council doesn’t choose a pitiful job for one such as me.” Kárik said as he sat at the mahogany table that sat in the middle of the dining room.

“Whatever you get, I and your father will be proud.” She said over the counter that separated the kitchen and the dining room, as footsteps were heard descending stairs. “Ah, Shormik, the council’s messenger came and asked of your presence before noon.” She finished as she brought the food she was making, into the dining room and placed them on the silver platters quickly with ease.

“Then I will be off, for I should not hold the council waiting. I will be back quick as possible, Kayla, I do not want to miss his ceremony.” Shormik said as he picked up a piece of toast, before he went out of the house with haste.

Káriks mother muttered a few inaudible words that caused the fire in the stove to shoot three balls of flame into the air that formed the number’s 935. “It is already that time!” She gasped as Kárik finished his food, “You better hurry to the gathering.”

He waved at his mother as he rushed out of his home into the forest of Alkaenfirka. The city itself was Eatarn, situated near the wester edge of the forest, it was considered a major trade center for elves, dwarves, Shakals - a mixture of human, elf, and dwarves traits, humans, and others. The trees rose high into the sky and ranged from five and eighteen feet in diameter. Houses sat in between the trees while others were built around with them with their upper levels in the tree with windows and platforms hanging there. Just a little ways from his house was the outpost where all the inter-country trading was taking place.

Kárik ran between the trees and houses at an inhuman speed that would make his vision blurry if he wasn’t an elf. He slowed down when he reached a clearing with a great wooden hall that had about three other children near his age standing in front of two oak doors. As he got closer, he recognized two of them, one was Nali, and she had long black hair that flowed down onto her silk red dress. The other one was Alka, he had a slender face with a small cut on his left cheek that was partially covered by his blond hair and the mystery kid was just a little taller with his auburn hair longer than most elves.

“Hey look who decided to join us, Nali, it’s Kárik, late as usual.” Alka said out loud as he tapped Nali on the shoulder and pointed at Kárik when she turned around.

“He’s right, and you are always late.” She murmured as Kárik strode up to her and Alka.

“Well, I woke up late and I still got here before the . . . ” Kárik was cut off as the giant oak doors parted and an eerie voice called Nali. She slowly walked through the doors looking back to see Kárik and Alka giving her thumbs up as the doors closed.

A few minutes passed before she reappeared with a smile on her face. “I got ambassadors’ apprentice and you’re up next Alka.” Nali said as she walked past them back into the woods.

“Here I go lets hope I do well.” He said as he walked through the doors only to reappear with a quizzical look on his face, “How did I get a job being a metal smith? Oh, and they want you.”

The mystery kid walked through the doors and didn’t come back for about ten minutes. When the door reopened the kid had an angry expression on his face as he pointed at Kárik then over his shoulder at the doors. Kárik slowly walked through the doors, darkness enshrouding him as he went farther in.

“Please have a seat Kárik Frostswarm.” An eerie voice echoed from the darkness, suddenly a small light appeared in the roof as thousands of small vines snaked their way through the roof causing the light to shine upon a seat. Taking his place in the seat he could see the outline of fifteen elves sitting at a long table and one standing against the wall, as a set of footsteps were heard coming up behind him, and the voice spoke again right in front of him, “This might hurt a bit but do not resist.” Two pairs of cold hands rested on the sides of his head causing shivers up his spine as the fingers moved over his head searching for something. His head felt like it was getting squeezed as the fingers melted into the skin and touched his mind picking certain memories of his seventeen years of existence. “Blue stone, blue stone, BLUE STONE!” A drawling voice said behind him that caused chairs to screech and some of the outlines to move, and the one elf that was standing to run to a door shining a brief light into the room making his vision hazy.

Whispering between the councilors erupted around him, conversing what was just said by the mystic. “Finally the blue stone’s handler has been picked. It has been 300 years since it last carriers have died.” The head councilor paused as he stepped into the light to show his green robe that hid his face but didn’t hide the weight problem he had, “You will be sent at dawn’s light, by horse back to Alkaen. There you will meet the king and queen to find out the location of the stone.” The doors behind him opened making him look at them but when he turned back around the room was empty and a small glow still emanated from the roof.

It happened so quick it took a few minutes before it hit him. How did I get a chance to meet the king and queen? Kárik thought to himself as he walked through the woods back to his house.

The house was empty downstairs when he got there, so Kárik walked up the stairs to find his door open and sounds of objects being moved. He edged toward his door and peeked in, only to see his mother going through his clothes and placing them in a leather bag. She stopped when Kárik stepped into the room, she stood up and walked to him placing her hands on his head and kissed his fore head before hugging him. “We are so happy for you, because you get to meet the Grand Council and the king and queen. Your father is in the forbidden room, go see him.” She said releasing her hug and went back to packing his things.

Down the hall was a blackened door with chains that were usually locked hanging from the mounted brackets on the wall. Kárik knocked twice before hearing scraping of large objects on the floor inside before the door was opened and his father stood there with black goggles to go with his blackened face. “Ah, your home,” He said wiping the goggles and moving to the side, “Come in, come in I am just making potions for your trip.” Kárik went into the room to see three bubbling and smoking caldrons with scale, beakers, and other strange instruments. Jewels of all shapes and sizes laid upon the shelves with strange ruins marked in stone and weapons such as swords, spears, bows and arrows, axes, dual bladed swords, knifes, and staffs.

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Last edited by thyob on Sun Oct 23, 2005 1:05 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Tiamet
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:12 am  Reply with quote

Well, your grammar is improving, and despite a few errors, you've got a somewhat decent piece there.
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Universal
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 1:54 am  Reply with quote

At the first glance many grammatical errors can be sun ,but those errors can be improved to create a great piece of literature.
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Methis
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 11:37 am  Reply with quote

Universal wrote (View Post):
At the first glance many grammatical errors can be sun ,but those errors can be improved to create a great piece of literature.


Hah, you might want to check your own grammar before criticizing that of others Razz

("At first glance, many grammatical errors can be seen, though those errors can be corrected, creating a great piece of literature." is what I'd make of it.)

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thyob
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 12:48 pm  Reply with quote

I changed the first part to say The Mourning's early light because when i first wrote it is put the suns mourning light, Tiamet told me i misspelled it, but later i decided that was the name of one of the suns.
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